When you don’t have control of your mind, your thoughts and emotions can run amok. You might find yourself ruminating on things a lot, constantly doubting yourself, or having trouble dealing with your emotions. It doesn’t have to be that way though! You can take control of your mind and replace out-of-control negative thoughts with positive, accurate ones. Over time, you’ll start to feel happier, more balanced, and in control of your feelings and sense of self.

Thinking differently..

Avoid negative thinking. You may find yourself thinking about something negative, even when you really don’t want to. There are a number of tricks you can use to control your mind and stop ruminating:

  • Think about the worst-case scenario. Although this seems counter-intuitive and like it would just lead to even more ruminating, when you think about the worst-case scenario, and then think about whether you would be able to handle it; you’ll likely find that you can imagine yourself handling the situation and this can help decrease your worry.
  • Schedule time for yourself to worry. By setting aside time to think about your problem, you can rest assured that it will get the attention it (maybe) needs; this can help you stop thinking excessively about your problem when you don’t want to.
  • Go for a walk. Getting out and about can get your mind off of your worries, either simply because of the exercise itself or because you will be taking in new information (sights, sounds, smells) which can help your mind wander to other, less distressing things.

Always Believe in yourself and that you can change everything think positively. If you don’t believe that you can change you’re not going to try nearly as hard as if you believe success is possible. So, make sure that you’re using positive thinking to face your problem. Try to keep in mind that you can change the way you think, that you can improve.

  • Renounce old habits in favor of a more effective lifestyle. Your subconscious mind where all your habits are recorded is a comfort zone that provides the feeling of familiarity, safety, and confidence. You can do the same things every day, tread the same routs, undertaking no risks. But what about your bold dreams and ambitious plans? To make some great things happen, as well as grow and develop as a person, you have to leave this comfort zone and undertake some risks in the pursuit of a better tomorrow.
  • Studies show that individuals adopting this “growth” mindset are more likely to make desired improvements than those who view their traits and skills as fixed and unchangeable.

Be optimistic about your abilities. You might think that being accurate about your ability to control yourself is key. However, studies show that being overly optimistic about your ability to control your behavior can help give you even more self-control.

  • To be optimistic, try telling yourself that you will succeed and control your mind over and over again, even if in the moment you don’t believe so.
  • Try also to remind yourself of times where you successfully controlled your mind as intended. Reflect only on these successes and not on any self-control failures you might have had


Re-appraise what you are struggling to control. Try changing how you look at the thing you are struggling to control. For example, if a part of your mind really wants to have wine but you are trying to stop drinking, try imagining the wine as poison. Imagine it going all through your body, infecting your cells and organs. Studies show that having individuals mentally transform (re-appraise) desirable things into less desirable things facilitates their self-control efforts to avoid the desirable thing.

  • To do this, really try vividly imagining and playing along with the idea that the object you wish to avoid has changed its properties.

Stop overgeneralizing. Overgeneralizing means taking a single occurrence of a negative experience and projecting it onto other experiences or to your predictions about how the future will be. For example, someone who overgeneralizes might say, “I had a difficult childhood, so my life is going to be difficult forever.” To stop overgeneralizing, you might: 

  • Take it upon yourself to change your own future through hard work and persistence. For example, if you had a difficult childhood and think your life is going to be difficult forever, you might identify ways in which you want your life to improve, and work to improve them.
  • Continuing the example, perhaps you want more meaningful relationships and a better job. You might research ways to obtain those things and then set goals for yourself in

Avoid personalization. This is a thought trap where you take personal responsibility for things that are out of your control. For example, if your daughter fell down at school you might say “It is my fault that she fell” when in reality the situation was entirely out of your control.

  • To avoid personalization, try to think carefully and logically about events that you are personalizing. It can help to ask yourself some questions.
  • For example, you might ask yourself “What could I actually have done to stop my daughter from falling down, given that I wasn’t at school with her?”

Stop jumping to conclusions. This is a thought trap that involves thinking certain things without any evidence to back those thoughts up.For example, someone who jumps to conclusions might think that a person doesn’t like him without any evidence supporting that assertion.

  • To stop jumping to conclusions, you can pause and think more before reaching judgments. It can help to ask yourself questions about the thought. For example, you can ask yourself if you really know that the thought you are having is true. You can also ask yourself to identify specific pieces of evidence that would suggest that the thought is true. Using the prior example, someone who thinks a person doesn’t like him might ask himself to identify particular conversations with that person that provide evidence for the claim.[1]

Avoid catastrophizing. This is a negative thought trap wherein the person blows things out of proportion. For example, someone who is catastrophizing after failing a test might say “My life is ruined, I’ll never get a good job now.”

  • To stop catastrophizing, work on thinking more positively. You can also ask yourself questions that employ logic and reason. For example, someone who failed a test and thinks his life is ruined because he will never get a good job might ask himself: “Do I know anyone who has failed a test yet still gotten a good job and/or seems happy?” “If I was hiring someone would I make my entire decision based on that person’s grade in a single class?”

Smile, even if you don’t feel like it. Negative feelings can reduce self-control and make it more difficult for you to control your mind.One way to counteract negative feelings is, simply, to smile.

  • Although the idea that feeling happy causes you to smile is more intuitive, the facial feedback hypothesis suggests that smiling can actually cause you to feel happiness.


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